It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
