the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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