well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
