Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
