My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sext me about skeletons
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
