you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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