It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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