But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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