I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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