You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
