I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
God gave him joint rollers for hands
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
