garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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