Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
