If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
