it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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