Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
