We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
