Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
