i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
