I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
