I will die if light touches me.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
