He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I party with great urgency now.
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