went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I love you. Go after that dick
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
