i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
