please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
