i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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