My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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