I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
