I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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