i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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