Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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