i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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