All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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