I wish I could punch you in the face.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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