Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
