The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
