Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
