hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
