so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
