I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize