I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
