One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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