If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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