I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
