You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
