I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
