Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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