Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
