at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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