Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
